In a rare moment of personal reflection, former Nigerian Head of State, General Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida (IBB), has revealed how his late wife, Maryam Babangida, profoundly influenced both his personal life and career. Through a series of candid reflections shared in his newly released memoir, A Journey in Service, IBB opens up about the deep connection he had with Maryam, describing her as the “pillar” that held him steady through some of the most turbulent moments of his life.
Their relationship, which began long before IBB’s rise to power, was defined by resilience and love—a bond that helped shape both IBB’s leadership as a military officer and his role as Nigeria’s leader.
A Love Story Born Amidst Struggles
The genesis of their relationship can be traced back to a time long before the spotlight of Nigeria’s political stage illuminated their lives. IBB recalls the first time he laid eyes on Maryam, then known as Maria, at the home of a mutual friend, Garba Duba, during their youth in Kaduna. The young military officers, still in the throes of their training, had no idea that the connection they shared would go on to become an enduring legacy.
“I first met Maria at Garba’s house in Kaduna. At that time, I never imagined she would play such an integral role in my life,” IBB wrote in his memoir.
Although their initial bond began as friends, it was through the turbulence of the Nigerian Civil War that IBB’s feelings for Maryam solidified. In an environment defined by conflict and uncertainty, IBB came to understand the true value of stability and companionship. He admits that his near-death experience during the war left him with a deep sense of mortality and a commitment to create a stable family life—a goal he had once considered secondary to his career ambitions.
“My first close encounter with death during the war made me realize the importance of having a stable home life,” IBB said. “It was no longer about career progression, but about building a future with someone who could be my true partner in life.”
A Moment of Clarity and a Bold Decision
IBB’s reflection took on a life-altering dimension in 1969, following an injury during an advance toward Umuahia, where shrapnel lodged in his chest, threatening his life. As he lay in a hospital bed, contemplating his survival, the idea of marriage began to take root in his mind.
“I was 28, and it felt like the right time to settle down,” he recalls. “My own mortality, along with the marriage of General Gowon to Victoria, made me realize that I needed someone to build a life with.”
Maryam was not his first choice by accident. Despite the fleeting relationships he had with others during his early army years, Maryam’s intelligence, elegance, and calm demeanor captured his attention. “I knew that Maria was the one for me,” he writes. “Her beauty, her background, and her grace—it was all meant to be.”
But securing Maryam’s commitment was no easy task. Though she had known IBB for years, Maryam was initially reluctant to marry him. IBB’s reputation as a ladies’ man and his tumultuous past raised doubts in her mind. But IBB, determined to make her his partner, approached the situation with a calm persistence.
“Maria was skeptical of my sincerity. She was cautious, as anyone would be given my reputation,” IBB admits. “But I made my intentions clear and told her that I would remain faithful. I asked her to convert to Islam, and she did so without hesitation.”
The Marriage that Defined an Era
Their wedding in 1969, though simple, marked the beginning of a powerful partnership. IBB and Maryam’s union was built on shared values and mutual respect—qualities that were further strengthened during their years together, particularly as IBB rose through the ranks of Nigeria’s military and political spheres.
Maryam’s role as Nigeria’s First Lady after IBB’s ascent to power in 1985 further showcased her strength and character. Despite the political turmoil that often surrounded IBB’s leadership, Maryam’s commitment to family and country remained unwavering. As First Lady, she was an advocate for women’s rights, education, and development, reshaping the role of Nigerian women in public life.
“Maryam didn’t just want to be a housewife; she understood the importance of her position and used it to advocate for those without a voice,” said IBB, reflecting on his wife’s contributions. “She was as committed to the home front as she was to the nation. Together, we made a formidable team.”
Their partnership also extended to the more intimate aspects of their relationship, where Maryam’s understanding and patience helped IBB navigate the pressures of his leadership. IBB notes that despite the challenges they faced, the couple rarely quarreled. Maryam was the steadying force that kept the family grounded amid the political whirlwind.
“Maryam knew how to support me without overshadowing me. She was quiet, yet powerful in her own way,” he recalls. “We rarely disagreed, and when we did, we dealt with it calmly and privately. That was our strength.”
A Legacy of Love and Devotion
Today, as IBB reflects on the life he shared with Maryam, he is filled with gratitude and admiration. Though Maryam passed away in 2009, her legacy endures, not just in Nigeria’s history, but in IBB’s heart. He credits her unwavering support for his ability to achieve what he did, both as a military officer and a leader of Nigeria.
“Maryam was more than a wife. She was my confidante, my adviser, and my biggest supporter,” he says. “Without her, I wouldn’t have been the person I am today. She changed my life and made me who I am.”
In a world where the lives of public figures are often shaped by external forces, IBB’s story of love with Maryam Babangida is a reminder that even the most powerful leaders are often influenced by the people closest to them—those who, like Maryam, help them navigate the storms of life with grace and conviction.
As IBB’s memoir reaches readers across Nigeria, it offers an intimate glimpse into the heart of a man who, despite his fame, has always been grounded by the love and support of the woman he cherished most.
